“If I could just get a good night’s sleep, I’d be ok!”
“If I could just close my eyes and rest for even an hour, things would improve.”
“If I could somehow quite the voices in my mind, I’d be able to move forward.”
“If this chapter of my life could just close, I’d be better.”
“If ____________ (fill in the blank), would just stop ___________, I could breathe again.”
These are not the words of a schizophrenic person locked up in a padded room at the state insane asylum. These are my words; they are the thoughts I once had, and the ones I still wrestle with at times. And most likely, they are the words of countless others who find themselves today struggling to find peace in the midst of their chaotic hurting lives.
For many of us, we face circumstances so dire, that peace and rest evade us. We’ve lost our jobs, we’ve been betrayed, abandoned and stolen from. Not only do we feel the pain of such circumstances, but for many, the pain seems to never end.
Confoundedly, the thought of a good night’s sleep doesn’t help. The comfort of a warm blanket, the softness of a down pillow isn’t followed by a night of sweet and pleasant dreams, but one rather filled with that of nightmares where sleep evades us, and our pains relentlessly speak to us.
Night after night we lay awake, not counting cute little sheep, but fighting demons of anger, resentment and bitterness deep in the recesses of our hearts and minds. Minds that for whatever reason, will not silence themselves.
Perhaps you can relate with these words. Perhaps you too know what the dark of the night feels like. Many of us in today’s times know more than ever what it feels like to hurt. Many of us feel stuck in the darkness with little hope for the rising of the sun on our circumstances.
If this is you, I want you to know that you’re not alone.
You’re not the only person in this world, that wrestles with and feels this kind of pain. As much as we want to think that everyone else’s life is perfect and we’re the only ones who seem to be drastically “fckd” up, this isn’t the case.
You’re not alone!
Over the next few weeks, I am going to be unpacking for you my story, what it took to find peace and what I did to silence the voices of anger, bitterness and resentment that were not only keeping me awake at night, but were waging war on my soul.
For now, I want to simply encourage you to take comfort in the fact that you’re not fighting this battle alone. Whatever you do in the next 24 hours, pitch not your tent in the camp of despair. Let not the feelings of hopelessness be the place where you reside permanently. The answers you need are coming. Know that your situation isn’t beyond repair, nor are your circumstances neither too far gone nor to broken to be put back again.
There are others who understand, others who stand with you, others who are praying for. Even if it’s just one!
You’re not alone.
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